Unlucky Me

You are now following the ongoing chronicles of The King O' Clubs. Who is The King O' Clubs? Why he is THE UNLUCKIEST POKER PLAYER IN THE WORLD, that's who! I don't know if anyone has previously claimed this title, but I posses it now. I don't care if you've lost more money than me, you'll never be as unlucky. I'm serious... people laugh out loud. I got unlucky, you just played bad. There's a huge difference.

My destiny is to lose, despite my best efforts. Do you think reading a bunch of poker books will make a difference? NO! You think high volume will negate the variance? WRONG. You think I can't lose as a 20-to-1 favorite for my tournament life? IT HAPPENS OFTEN! Think I can short-stack ninja my way to the final table like I did in Vegas? NO I CAN'T! You will always find your outs when you're in a hand with me. Outs you didn't even know you had.

This is what goes through my opponent's head, right before he busts me on the bubble: "Damn... he caught me. I guess I have to call though, I'm pot-committed." The dealer runs the board, and out of the corner of my eye I see what appears to be a fist-pump. I'm sure people say "good game kid," but all I can hear is my opponent say "Whew! That was close. He totally had me!"

Now before you think I'm complaining, it must be said that I do not blame anything for this phenomenon because it is simply a force of nature. I do not blame the dealers or the internet. I do not blame the players OR the game. I just watch in silenced awe.

Join me now, and you too can witness the astounding, jaw-dropping, downright TAINT-NUMBING reversal of fortunes!